“Just everything about your company and marketing is disgusting,” emailed an owner of an entertainment newsletter to the SwampButt Underwear headquarters. This note came after this reporter received a recent news release from the company imploring men to recognize that they might not be as physically fit as they claim to be.
“She’s right in that swampbutt is a disgusting affliction that needs more attention,” said SwampButt Underwear spokesperson Nick Heraldson. “I’m glad she took the time out of covering the latest Kardashian escapade or social media post from a former child star enrolling in rehab to let us know that she supports all we’re doing to help those that no longer want to sit in their own butt sweat,” Heraldson said. “The road to comfort can sometimes be ugly, but the important to thing remember is that we’re all in this together. Well, not literally, because that would be really disgusting.”
SwampButt Underwear Forever
Heraldson said that attempts to continue communications with the Hollywood media mogul were slow developing, but that SwampButt Underwear is confident that the mutual admiration for each other will continue for years to come.
“The last email we got from her was a bit cryptic,” he said. “I’m sure she was quite busy that day covering a disagreement between the Teen Moms because she was only able to send us four words, ‘stinky smelly ass underwear,’ Heraldson reported. “I think that her message shows that she understands our business and how hard we are working to make the world better or at least a drier place. We weren’t sure how our product was going to be received by the elite media of this country, but I think these communications show that SwampButt Underwear is recognized as awesome.”
A Performance Worthy of Recognition at a Prime Time Award Show
SwampButt Underwear garments are manufactured to exact specifications and are unique in the world of underpants or at least in parts of the world where underpants are worn.
The hardworking people of the entertainment industry know all about the perils of swampbutt or butt sweat. And many of them are starting to understand how they can be prepared to fight that affliction with the help of SwampButt Underwear. But there is more than can be done.
“We’re just starting to learn to how we can help those in the entertainment industry stay drier longer,” said Heraldson. “And I’m not just talking about the actors and the directors. I think the key grips, foley artists and production assistants can benefit from SwampButt Underwear also. If there is a job out there that results in a wet butt then we are here to help.”
The material in SwampButt Underwear is made to draw sweat away from the skin. This is known as “wicking.” In addition to wicking, SwampButt Underwear allows for greater air flow under and around the fabric, which permits sweat to evaporate quicker than traditionally made underwear.
A Hollywood Sign
SwampButt Underwear is handy when you’re fishing, hunting, mowing the lawn, playing golf, yelling at umpires, making movies, running, lifting weights, producing television shows or thinking about doing those things. SwampButt Underwear is available at www.swampbutt.com.
“The first step to fight the horrors of swampbutt is education,” said Heraldson. “We’re hoping that our media friend will be able to help us help the entertainment industry with all of its butt sweat challenges. But we understand that she might be too busy tracking the new hairstyles of the stars to assist us. So it is our hope that someone in the industry will let us know how best SwampButt Underwear can help them.”
All interested parties can contact SwampButt Underwear at our website www.swampbutt.com or via our Facebook or Twitter pages.
CAPTION: Hollywood media moguls and posers alike can benefit from the dryness of SwampButt Underwear.